good cop bad cop: Adrodd (serving suggestion)

20.00 - gareth

One audience member: ‘Funny as fuck.’

19.58 - esther

We wish you luck with your careers.

19.57 - daniel

“Thanks”. Our assessors will be giving us feedback in the next few days. If some of us will lose our jobs it’s more to do with the long term situation.

19.56 - daniel

Will the studio bosses get that? Bob and Susan, which is of course us, are being asked.

19.55 - esther

New suggestion: mobile library!

19.54 - daniel

Example for a good pitch: jaws with paws. but that’s 3 words, so it should be “jaws paws”.

19.53 - esther

Two Men in a van with an archive. But that’s 8 words.

19.53 - daniel

now two words to sum it up: we are asked to shout it out: Van Arse. But does this sum up the film? “no compromise” is being suggested.

19.52 - daniel

John summarises – what’s the genre – richard interjects: road movie. the title WHITE VAN BLACK ARSE, actors will be decided upon by focus groups.

19.51 - esther

No consensus on symbol though. That decision has to be taken back to the focus group.

19.50 - daniel

“White van, black arse” seems to be the favourite.

19.50 - esther

Now they are collecting suggestions for titles of the films, walking around the table and asking us to whisper them into their ear.

19.49 - esther

John is angry with Daniel because he took a photo of the symbols and now John thinks that’s cheating because we should draw one from memory so they can know which symbol is memorable.

19.49 - gareth

Super Archive

19.48 - daniel

19.46 - esther

So – John reveals symbols and counts to ten. Everybody starts drawing. John gives us 30 seconds and starts counting. But Richards thinks that would distract us. Pens dows. John starts collecting the papers again.

19.45 - esther

John will show us a series of symbols that the focus groups came up with and the one we remember most we should draw on the paper, which Richard hands back to us. Somehow sheets of paper went missing.

19.44 - daniel

There is an unlimited budget for the film.

19.43 - esther

So we are almost there with the film… apparently. But they still want to go a step further: they want a symbol to represent a film.

19.43 - daniel

19.42 - daniel

an archive in the back of the van.

19.41 - daniel

The plot of the film: John and Richard solving people’s arts problems. 2 men in a van travelling between camarthen and swindon.

19.41 - gareth

People prefer workmen who work.

19.40 - esther

No decision could be made on a name. They decide to go back to the focus group. But they promise a star will be in it.

19.39 - esther

Now to the names, same process.

19.38 - esther

They start reading out suggestions for locations for the film. If we like the location, we should raise our hands. At the moment it’s between wendy house and Carmarthen mental hospital.

19.36 - esther

John starts collecting the sheets of paper from the table.

19.36 - daniel

Richard asks John about the lists, but John is not going to talk without a microphone.

19.35 - esther

Sean Penn is interested to be in the film. Richard Harrington as well. And Madonna (though not sure who she’d play).

19.35 - gareth

Zac Efron and Robert Pattison

19.34 - esther

John starts worrying about Richard: “Can we do anything for you, Richard?” “Anything I can do…?”, “Are you worried…?”. But Richard insists that everything is fine. So we continue with the planning of the film. Next – anybody we would like to see in the film? Actors and Actresses that should play John and Richard?

19.32 - daniel

19.32 - esther

Audience is now asked to help with the planning of the film: we are each asked to write on the piece of paper in front of us a location we would like to see the film.

19.29 - esther

No idea what Richard is talking about. Something about an emperor and objects. I guess a possible plot.

19.29 - daniel

there is still the image of a pixelated dog being projected.

19.28 - esther

Now to the story line…

19.28 - daniel

North Korea not one of the places where people wanted to see animals in films. So it was North Korea before.

19.27 - esther

Flicking through these images – yes, yes, no, yes, no, no, yes, and so on.

19.26 - daniel

Pixelated images of all these people are shown.

19.26 - esther

People with big ears, people with big noses, people that were alive, young people, people with one eye, people wearing hats, glasses and bad teeth were popular. Beards were not popular.

19.24 - esther

What kind of people should be in the film?

19.24 - daniel

Casting now.

19.24 - esther

I understood South Korea.

19.23 - daniel

Suddenly the light is on us.

19.23 - gareth

Caernarfon, Carmarthen, North Korea

19.23 - daniel

Not England, not Ireland, not Scotland – all blacked out with black marker.

19.22 - esther

What location? What is the place where you’d like to see the film being set? Beaches, castles, slum, sleepy village, youth centres were all popular choices. Brazil and Australia too hot. China – too big danger of contributing to the suicide rate. Greenland – dedicated to nature documentaries. Russia – people did not like it. That one large area there – they did not think of it.

19.22 - daniel

It could have been made there [Africa circled on a map].

19.21 - daniel

America – too many people make movies there. Canada not interested.

19.20 - daniel

Do you like beaches? some people said yes, some said no. Do you like castles? many people like castles. Further suggestions for locations. Brazil too hot, the film would melt in the camera. This also rules out Australia.

19.18 - daniel

What genre should the film participate in: rom com, vampire time travel epic, documentary, science-fiction, blockbuster, straight to video, rom com, arthouse, noir, thriller, horror, period, nature, scientific documentary, musical, snuff, animation, porn, pornography, pornoclamation…how to present all the materials from the project?

19.16 - gareth

Waffles, kittens, India

19.15 - esther

Back to presentation tonight: how present these actions? Apparently they got advice from media studios. One suggested to make a film. So they contacted film companies.

19.15 - daniel

Richard is on the one side of the table moving through the slides, John on the other side of the table talking through a mic.

19.14 - daniel

Mention of the radio show.

19.14 - esther

Many more photos of projects.

19.13 - daniel

seeds that they tried to plant desire lines with blown away, so instead making their own dog shit.

19.13 - esther

Putting sweets next to dog shit.

19.13 - gareth

Shit Cakes

19.13 - daniel

Now marking the landscape. Intentional markings, but also unintentional (dog shit).

19.11 - daniel

all these photos show several kinds of markings in the city.

19.11 - esther

Photos of working men in yellow work coats, resting.

19.10 - daniel

A slide show of photographs of various activities, like planting flowers in desire lines, analysing constellations of chewing gum on the streets of Cardiff. Putting coins on chewing gum, 1p, 5p, 1£, always £100.

19.08 - esther

I was late but managed to get the last seat at the table. Now many more late comers.

19.08 - gareth

Dwi’n hoffi’r term ‘lluniau chwant’

19.07 - daniel

we will see a presentation a project started last year, “Pitch”.

19.05 - daniel

some of us are Bobs.

19.05 - gareth

We are several Susans

19.05 - daniel

there’s a table in the centre of the space that we are all sitting on, like in an office meeting.

19.04 - daniel

“please try to enjoy it as much as you can”.

19.04 - gareth

The room is cold.

19.03 - daniel

we are politely asked to come in, but not to talk amongst each other. “We’re not sure how you operate in other Centres, but in this centre you’re asked not to touch the materials before you’re instructed to do so.”

18.52 - daniel

Good cop bad cop’s performance is about to start. Because it is the final performance in the festival, there will be three of us blogging from it.

2 Responses to “good cop bad cop: Adrodd (serving suggestion)”


  • Locked out of the theatre space and following in the reading area. Come read together if you are in the arts centre!

  • …as mobile library is suggested for the film, Kath simultaneously backs the reading room library into a trolley.

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